Dementia; Is it OK to Tell the Truth?

You know the story...

A young George Washington received a hatchet as a gift and damaged his father's cherry tree.

When his father discovered what he had done, he confronted George and asked him about it...

at which point George said, "I cannot tell a lie...I did cut it with my hatchet."

As it turns out, the cherry tree story is a myth, but it's one that teaches kids an important lesson.

After all, most of us learned from a young age that telling the truth and being honest are highly regarded virtues.

Well, as it turns out, honesty and truthfulness are not actually the same thing.

Being HONEST means you express your feelings and opinions accurately.

While being TRUTHFUL means you actively make known the facts of a matter.

This is good news for anyone caring for someone affected by dementia.

Why?

It's not always in the best interest of the person to be confronted with the TRUTH or all the facts of a situation as their ability to "process" lots of information at once is most likely changing.

While you may want to be virtuous by sharing the whole truth, cognitive impairments affect a part of the brain that controls logic and reason...

And "all the facts" often are not comprehended in the way you would expect them to be.

But, here's a bit of good news...

When logic and reason are lost...the heart space or emotion opens up that much more.

Meaning, when you resist using logic and, instead, leverage the emotion and heart space between you, it will almost always reduce anxiety and stress for everyone involved.

So, how do you make that happen?

Choose HONESTY over TRUTH.

Here's an example...

"I want to help with your finances because I love spending time with you" is received better than...

"I'm taking over your finances because you keep giving your money away to scammers."

Not sharing all the facts can feel like you're not being truthful...and it might be a hard pill to swallow.

After all, how can doing something that feels so wrong actually be so right?

When dementia is involved, anchor into the heart space...

It's right every time.